Pairing: Gamma Akutabi/John Elwood Shepherd
Genre: Slash, angst, smut
Warnings: The action of this one shot is taking place four years after the manga’s ending, so I recommend you to read the original work, because you might NOT understand this one.
Summary: You can’t just forget, can you?
DISCLAIMER: I obviously do not own the characters, because they belong to this @#$%@ troll, Tite Kubo.
He stood there, frozen to the spot, ears deaf to Smith’s cooing about him looking so mature for his age. Gamma’s eyes were locked with his, but it seemed that neither one could read the other.
It wasn’t like Elwood did not expect them to come back. Truthfully, he thought that maybe they would arrive a little… earlier. Four years. Four years of living with the fact that he had been left behind. Four years of doctor Nazna not telling him whether they were ok or whether they contacted her. Four years of Wolfina supporting him, encouraging him to train and to become better.
His heart and head were giving him mixed signals, confusing him even more than he already was. Only when Nazna herself came out to scold all of them for making a ruckus, he managed a quiet ‘Please, come in’ and turned around, feeling Gamma’s eyes watching his back.
Wolfina approached the duo as soon as they stepped through the threshold, smiling and joking about what took them so long to come back. Gamma started a bickering fight with her and in Elwood’s eyes everything seemed so normal, so natural for all of them to act as if nothing had happened. As if it was a common thing for them to be back after such a long period of time.
He felt sick of it, insides churning with anger. No, it wasn’t normal to just disappear for a couple of years and then show up as if everything was alright. He kept his cool, but when his glance once again met with those blue piercing eyes, he felt like crying because of how much he wanted to see them.
Later that night he couldn’t sleep, his own thoughts scaring him, while unnamed urges built up inside him.
He sneaked out from his room, knowing perfectly well where he wanted to go, what he wanted to see.
Opening the door, he was careful not to make a sound, slipping into the dark room. He watched the form laying on the bed, making a few steps to the edge. He observed quietly from the distance, but then he noticed that the pillow was about to fall to the ground, so he grabbed it, gently putting it beside the gray-haired man’s face. He walked away only two steps before his wrist was grabbed delicately.
He stopped, feeling the cold metal on his skin. Elwood’s pulse became quicker. This was it. This was the end of everything, because his body reacted on its own. He abruptly turned around and leaned over the bed, kissing Gamma’s dry lips.
When they parted, his only wish was to just disappear. It was him, not Gamma, who destroyed everything they had. He wanted to cry, scream and hurt himself with something sharp – he did something that would drive them both apart.
After a few seconds of fretting over his own stupidity and recklessness, he finally came back to his senses. The metal of Gamma’s fingers was cold against his heated skin. Why didn’t the gray-headed man try to push him away was beyond the boy's mind grasp. He expected harsh words, disgust, anger, but it never came. Instead he was pulled onto the bed, his body absolutely paralyzed when it came to contact with Gamma’s own, long arms wounding themselves around Elwood's waist.
“Let me stay like this… Just for a while…” the older man whispered, burying his nose into Elwood’s hair.
A soft, faltering ‘ok’ was the only reply the boy managed to utter, feeling how his own hands were put still on the wide chest, fingers curling into the thin fabric.
“Hey Elwood, how does it feel?” Gamma’s breath was tickling his ear, making him shiver in a mix of anticipation and fear. It felt too good to be true. His fingers were tightly clasping on the black, right arm, his heart threatening to escape from his ribcage as he let out a quiet sigh, eyes closed in contentment.
How did they end up like this was still a mystery to Elwood’s hazed mind. There were gentle touches, fleeting kisses and somehow it just felt right for them to surrender to their deeply hidden needs.
Elwood leaned on the wide chest, giving in to the feeling of being overwhelmed by a strange emotion. He was unable to define what it could it be, his head misted by the clouds of pleasure, guilt and probably many more different things that mixed inside his body when Gamma’s hand worked its magic on him.
Chopped lips traced his shoulder, leaving light kisses all over the fevered, white skin. Elwood moaned softly when those lips attached themselves to his neck. Small pressure, gentle sweeps of the wet tongue – all this made him realize that he was being marked. A weird, heavy feeling bubbled in his chest, his whine of pleasure a little louder than earlier. Gamma’s second hand wandered between his already spread legs, his fingertips leaving a hot trace over his thigh. He felt so intoxicated, so high on need that it almost made him burst.
He gasped when a long finger breached his muscles, delicately massaging his insides. It hurt at first, the sting teasing his nerves, but after a while his body started to accept it, his hips moving on their own. Another finger was added and he couldn’t help but to open his eyelids, see for himself how his body was welcoming Gamma into its depths, begging to be discovered.
“Has it already been four years? You’ve grown up so much…” the voice that reached Elwood made him turn his head slightly. Gamma sounded odd, distant. The face that greeted the brunette was flushed, eyes concentrated on him and him only. He felt the fingers being pulled out, his body constricting around the air. Empty. He did not want to be empty. Not right now, when his desperate yearnings became so annoying under Gamma’s watchful gaze.
Sharp eyes were fixated on him, waiting, cautiousness written all over the face he longed to see for those four years. There was something off about the man. A small flicker of uncertainty caught Elwood unprepared. He was quick to interpret it, to understand. His hand wandered to Gamma’s cheek, caressing it gently. The gray-haired man turned his eyes away, avoiding the brunette’s thoughtful orbs.
“You know, I really hated you when I woke up and found out that you left me behind. I felt betrayed, unwanted. But then I realized one thing. After that came another. Each and every day when you were gone I’ve come to realize something new. It was scary, but I managed to go through it with my head up and back straight. I know why you did it. I don’t blame you for it. So right now just hold me, ok? I just need to feel you beside me.” Elwood did not recognize his own voice, he did not recognize himself, but seeing how Gamma’s lips quirked, he told himself that what he did was good.
Black, metallic fingers grasped his chin, bringing him closer. He closed his eyes, relishing in Gamma’s taste, wondering how much time they have got, until Gamma leaves him and Elwood will have to wait for his return once more. Then, he will be prepared, he will have strength to look for his sister’s revival, he will have the courage to follow the silver-coated man on his quest to find immortality.
He let himself be pushed onto the bed, the soft bed sheets under his back reminding him about all the desires lurking inside his soul, in his mind, in his core. The metal of Gamma’s hand cooled his heated body, every place it touched tingling with a need for more. His own fingers slowly traced the connection between the tanned skin and dark metal, moving to the other man’s chest, then tangling in the long, gray strands. Elwood hoisted himself on Gamma’s neck, inhaling the scent of gun powder, wind, sand. The scent of freedom. He wanted it so badly, this freedom that being with Gamma offered, his body shivered at the thought of losing it for the next couple of months, years maybe. He embraced Gamma, his body sensitive to every touch the man offered. And when they finally connected, he could not stop himself from crying, the pain from being opened so much, opened so deeply, so thoroughly mixing with the hurting of his chest, the suffocating feeling of fear and loneliness. But then again pleasure, happiness and love were also present, his head spinning with emotions.
The thrusts into his body, first gentle and slow, then brutal and desperate, made him realize one more thing – he wasn’t the only one hurting, silently begging and pleading for something unreachable. He smiled through tears, noticing that Gamma was crying too. He brought the other’s head lower, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. And then in one moment his world disappeared, his soul leaving his body for mere seconds to bask in lightness. When he came back, Elwood saw probably the most beautiful thing in his entire life – blue eyes watching him closely, content and filled with so much happiness that he felt his heart drowning in glee.
Gamma encircled his arms around Elwood, bringing him close and pecking his sweaty forehead. They were laying like this, until the weariness took over their bodies, making them fall asleep.
Elwood woke up to the emptiness of his small room. Gamma was gone, that was his first thought. Gamma was gone and the coldness of the air made him feel the hotness of his own tears streaking down his cheeks. With his chest hurting, he managed to stand up and go to the bathroom.
He turned the water on, splashing his face and looking at his reflection in the small mirror hanging on the wall. What he saw wasn’t somebody, who could travel with Gamma. What he saw was a weak, puffy-eyed teenager, who would end up as a burden. He splashed his face one more time, his dark eyes hardening.
He will wait. He will be prepared. And he will force Gamma to acknowledge his efforts the next time they meet. He will go with him, even if it means death.
A/N: I’ve read ‘Zombie Powder’ some time ago, feeling absolutely disappointed by the fact that Tite Kubo decided to troll and put the series on a hiatus. Then, during my vacation, while I was lurking in my manga folder I found it and read it again. And this is the outcome. Hope you’ll like it.